A Chat with Dad

This past Sunday was Father’s Day.  Though my dad is back east in South Carolina, we still try to find time to chat a couple of times each month.  I’ve had in depth conversations with my mom, but never my dad.  He’s a private individual who doesn’t like showing his emotions.  When I told him I wanted to feature him for my blog, I wasn’t expecting a yes.  After a 90 minute conversation, I learned some stuff my mom didn’t even want to discuss.  For my Tuesday Talks, here’s an intimate conversation I had with my dad.

Cydania: How did you find out you were going to be a dad?

Dad: Your mom wasn’t feeling well for a while, she went to her doctor and found out she was pregnant again.

Cydania: Were you excited?

Dad: Of course.  Very excited. We tried for a long time.  Two years earlier your mom had a miscarriage.  We were getting up in age and didn’t think we were going to have a kid.  We went to City Island and had a lobster dinner.

Cydania: What were your first impressions of me?

Dad: You had a very hairy head.  Your hair was over an inch long.  All the nurses were like look at the hair on that baby’s head.

Cydania:  My mom also told me one of the first things the doctor said after I was born was congratulations you have a baby girl and she’s the hairiest baby I’ve ever seen.  I was cursed from a young age. 

Cydania:  I always get comments about my name.  Did you play a role in naming me?

Dad: No role.  Your mom already had the name picked out.  She wanted to know if she was carrying a boy or girl as soon as she could.  The doctors said she was carrying a girl.  You got Cydania.

Cydania: Was I a quiet baby?

Dad: You were a good baby.  You didn’t get in trouble.  No temper tantrums.  You didn’t run or knock over stuff when in the store.

Cydania: What was your favorite event with me?

Dad: We had a few.  We’d go to Flushing Meadow Park for a picnic or BBQ’s.  You liked running around.  You didn’t want to leave the park.  We were still living in the Bronx at the time.  We didn’t have a backyard.  You loved trip to the parks.  We also liked going to Orchard Park.

Cydania: I remember playing whiffle ball in Hempstead and watching wind sailors at Jones Beach.

Dad: We also went fishing a lot in Queens and at Long Beach.  You would catch more fish than me sometimes.

Cydania:  I always made you bait my line because I didn’t want to touch the worms.

Dad: When we moved to Hempstead, I got you a bike with training wheels.  You learned to ride quickly.  I didn’t have to run behind you that much once the training wheels were off.

Cydania:  Any bloopers or funny moments?

Dad: At the time it wasn’t funny.  You were learning how to walk in your walker.  You somehow got lots of speed and ended up crashing head first into the pointy end of the coffee table.  You cried, but you got back up.  You just didn’t go near that table anymore. 

Cydania:  I still have that little dent on my forehead.   I’m surprised I didn’t knock myself out.  I must have been hard headed.

Now you all have had the opportunity to meet my dad, Cliff.  Dad has always been a great provider.  He made sure that mom and I had food to eat, a roof over our heads and clothes on our back.  Though mom took care of the inner workings of the household, dad was in charge of the outside.  It was with him where I learned how to mow the lawn, trim the hedges, help change the car oil and brake pads, help dig holes for fence poles and put together a ridiculous utility shed.  Then there were times when my Pontiac broke down on Route 74 in North Carolina and dad came and got me.  He also gave me money to pay my bills when I was unemployed.

To my dad,

I thank you for being there for me and for letting me interview you on the phone for over 90 minutes.  Who knew dad could talk so much J

Cydania

Guitar Time

Have you ever wished you were a kid again and playing with your favorite toy that gave you pure bliss?  I’m sure mine would have been my Barbie dolls, Hot Wheels or spending hours up and down the sidewalk in my blue and white roller skates.  I think I may have found another activity for this young 34 year old.  For this extensive edition of Thursday Thoughts, I want to share my new found passion for learning to play the guitar.

I’ve been taking guitar lessons at the Old Town School of Folk Music for seven weeks now.  I must confess that I’m having a blast!!  I can still remember my first day of class.  I was so nervous since I had never officially studied guitar.  My friend let me mess around with his guitars in the past, but I was never taught.  I’m walking into this auditorium with this amazing Takamine my friend let me borrow while at the same time being scared out of my mind.  While I mingled with the other students, I found out I’m the only beginner so far.  Yikes.  Three of the instructors asked everyone who needed tuning done to stand in one of their lines.  I stood in Linda Smith’s line.  As she tuned my instrument, I told her I was very nervous.  She asked if I was a beginner.  I felt like a four year old attending kindergarten all over again.  I timidly said yes.  Linda said it’s common to be nervous, but you’ll have fun.  She even said I’ll be able to play a song by the time lessons ended.  What??  Was she crazy?  Now I’m in shock.  All I know is that there are two E strings on the guitar.  This instrument has more strings than my violin.  I’m assuming the strings on the violin are on the guitar as well.  I find out that the beginners will have class in the auditorium while the other students perform in classrooms upstairs.  Great!  They already have us performing on the big stage in the auditorium.  Talk about pressure and being in the spotlight.

My instructor is Bob Goins, a self-taught guitarist.  He’s a long haired, hippy guy who can fingerpick like no one I’ve seen.  Oh crap!  I’ve gotten way in over my head now if he thinks the seven of us are going to play that fast.  We go around and introduce ourselves, mention previous music experience and what song we want to learn how to play.  We have some former musicians.  Half the class wants to play some Blackbird Song by the Beatles I never heard of.  I’ve been educated now J  I say I want to play Sting’s Fragile, any Rodrigo y Gabriela song or Johnny Cash’s Hurt.  Big mistake!  This is not going to happen for a while.  What does happen?  I experience lots of pain from very sore fingers as we learn the A7 and D chords.  You know what?  I loved it!!!  It takes me back to my violin days.  Linda was right after all.  We ended up playing several songs with A7 and D chords along with an early introduction to the G chord.  We played Pay Me My Money Down, Jane’s Addiction and other songs I’ve never heard of.  It’s all about learning and having fun.

I’m like the eager child wanting to get home and play with a new toy.  I practice those chords and songs at home for another 90 mins.  I didn’t put two and two together and stop after my 2 hour group lesson.  I sounded horrible, but I still wanted to play and make it right.  I was back in my violin mode of practicing 1-2 hours a day at home.  Come Monday morning, I have nasty blisters on my fingers.  Nooooo!!!  I want calluses.  Maybe this is good?  I don’t know.  I get impatient and pop them all.  Don’t do that.  Eventually, that pain goes away and my fingertips start getting rough.  Not pretty to touch, but the strings don’t hurt as much now J 

Five weeks later, I’ve added a few more chords, tried a few strumming patterns and I’ve increased slightly in my chord changes.  I’m no-where near the speed I had on the violin, but I must be patient.  I even had my first trial and tribulation when I thought about giving up.  I opted to return the dreadnought Takamine to my friend so I could buy myself a guitar.  Guitar playing is serious.  I wanted my own baby.  After a two hour stay in Guitar Center and 7-8 guitars, I fell in love with a Takamine Nex GS430S Acoustic.  I read once that once you’ve played a Takamine, you’re hooked.  So true!  I played Yamaha’s, Mitchells, a Seagull and another Takamine.  Nothing beats the tonality and resonance of a Takamine. Once I get home with my new Takamine things get sour.  What I didn’t notice in the store, I now notice at home.  My friend who tested all the guitars for me immediately noticed that the neck was too small for him, but might work with me.  I’m on the small size and didn’t find a dreadnought that fit me well.  Comfort first!!  My Takamine is a little smaller than a dreadnought, but bigger than an auditorium/body concert style.  I sound horrible on the majority of my songs.  I can’t hit most of my chords.  The neck size really messed me up.  I had to come up with a new game plan.  During my 1 hour practice sessions at home, I spend 30 mins just relearning all the chords and the next 30 mins focusing on some of the songs featuring those chords.  By Saturday, Sahara (my Takamine) meshes with me perfectly.  I just needed a little adjustment.  Sunday’s class was my best practice yet.  I was even able to keep up with the teacher on Bruce Springsteen’s Hungry Heart.  That’s my favorite song we’ve learned so far.  That will be the one I’m going to perform during my recital.

What’s up next?  Guitar 1 Rep of course!!  I’m advancing to the next level.  I’ve signed up for another 8 weeks with the same professor.  First I have to buy a finger exerciser machine since we’ll be dealing with some complex chords.  I’ve noticed that my fingers aren’t what they used to be. 

Even when I’m at lunch or commuting, I constantly think about my guitar.  I can’t wait to go home and practice.  When I’m having a crappy day, I look at a picture of my guitar I took on my cell phone.  Sad isn’t?  My guitar is like a new puppy.  Sahara brings a smile to my face and takes me to another place where everything in the world is good and innocent.  I believe all adults should have this experience no matter what age.  Have you found your bliss?

 Cydania